Self Care

You matter.
You are important.
You work hard all the time.
You are always caring for others.

You try so hard.
You do the best you can.
You want to treat others well.
You’re not sure you’re doing enough.

Take a moment.
Take a deep breath.
Take an inventory of yourself.
How do you feel underneath it all?

What would you do? What would you say?
How would you be kind? How would you care?
What does someone need who feels the way you do?

You matter, too.
You are important, too.
It’s okay for you to take a break.
It’s okay to take care of yourself.

Gratitude Is a Choice

Every day, every moment, I make choices.
Every day, every moment, I choose between options.
Every day, every moment, I have the option to choose gratitude.

When I wake up in the morning, I can choose to be grateful.
I have a choice to say, “Thank You,” either aloud or in my heart.
I have a choice to think of all I have to be grateful for.

When I choose to be grateful,
I am not oblivious to problems.
When I choose to be grateful,
I am not ignoring pain and suffering.
My inclination is to see what is wrong.
My opportunity is to see what is good.

When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
life is a precious, tender gift.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
the human body and health are to be valued and protected.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
other people, and human connection, are part of who we are.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
I have a place in this world, and you have a place in this world.

When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
the natural world is fascinating and awe-inspiring.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
I am healed by being under an open sky,
sunrise and sunset, the moon and the stars.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
I am healed by being near grass, trees, flowers,
plants, creatures, and natural formations of many kinds.
When I choose to be grateful, I recognize
I am healed by seeing the beauty of a mountain,
an ocean, a desert, and still and moving water.

Life is not without pain, suffering, loss, and grief.
Life is also not without a world of good that is all around.

I have more good than I realize.
I am hopeful when I choose to hope.
I am loved when I choose love for myself and others.
I am accepted when I choose compassion for myself and others.
I am forgiven when I choose forgiveness for myself and others.
I am joyful when I choose to practice gratitude.

Gratitude is a choice.

Setting Intentions

Listen to the way you talk.
Notice the way you think.

Do you say/think, “I’ll try …”
and, with it, you feel bound to fail?

Imagine saying, “I am committing myself to … today.”
“I am making a commitment today to …”
feels more powerful than, “I’ll try …”

You can also,
“Set an intention for (someone’s name here) highest good.”

This is used in Healing Touch energy work.
Before beginning, the practitioner
“sets an intention for the client’s highest good.”

As a healthcare provider, I can set an intention
for the highest good of my next patient as I enter the room.

As a coach, I can set an intention
for the highest good of my client before we meet for a session.

When I choose to use this in my daily life,
I can set an intention
for the highest good of the people I encounter.

Setting an intention for good for another person
is also a way to choose to be accountable for
my thoughts and words and actions towards others.

I intend to …
I mean to …
I plan to …
I will take action to …

When I set an intention,
I am making a choice for good things to happen.

When I set an intention,
I am making a choice to be ‘intentional’ about what I do and say.

Human Connection

We are more alike than we realize.  We are human. We are beings. We are creatures made for connection. We thrive when we love, and we are loved. We grow when we are in relationship with others.

We forget all of this. We focus on how we imagine we are different. We don’t even take the time to listen to each other. We want to be right. How can we all be right? How can each of us believe we know truth, and we believe the ‘other’ has no truth? What if we are looking at the same thing, and we are seeing it from different angles?

Do we not all love our families? Parents, do you not love your children? Children, do you not love your parents? Are there not parents and children all over the world? How do we imagine we have nothing in common?

Listening to each other, with attention, with curiosity, with acceptance, is one way we can bridge this artificial gap we have created. We are human. We are more alike than we are different.

As we learn to love ourselves, and accept ourselves, we can learn to love each other. As we learn to love each other, and accept each other, we can learn to love ourselves.


The Time is Now

One of the biggest mistakes I make is thinking I have more time.

Realistically, all I am guaranteed is this moment.
I don’t have yesterday. I may not have tomorrow.

My challenge is to be mindful in this moment, aware, fully alive.
My challenge is also to believe in the future, and take action now.

The choices I made in the past are part of where I am today.
The choices I make today will be part of where I am tomorrow.

I choose to live now with gratitude and joy.
I choose to to let go of things I cannot change.
I choose to look forward with hope, and make good choices each day.


When you talk with a coach,
you are talking with someone
who will listen to you carefully.

When you talk with a coach,
you will hear wise words spilling out
from your own mouth.

When you talk with a coach,
you will choose what to talk about.
You will decide what you want to focus on.

When you talk with a coach,
you have the opportunity to recognize
you already have answers inside you.

When you talk with a coach,
you focus on what you want to change or do.
You choose what steps to take, how big, and how many.

When you talk with a coach,
you have the opportunity to feel seen and heard.
You have the opportunity to discover your own wisdom.

Helping Others

When we help others, we are also helping ourselves.

None of us is totally independent. We need other people.

When we recognize our interdependence, we can ask for help and offer help as we are able.

ADHD is a Deficit of Executive Function, Not Attention

Those who have ADHD know this is true. Attention is everywhere except where it is ‘supposed’ to be. In fact, attention is rarely focused on the required task unless there is a sense of urgency and established consequences.  You know what to do, yet you are often unable to follow through with your good intentions.

The person who has ADHD has ‘time blindness’.  If you are this person, you understand how hard it is to be on time almost anywhere for almost any reason. Your intentions are good, and then you see something or think of something, and in your mind, you are sure you have time to get it done before you have to leave. Once again, you are rushing to meet a starting time you have already missed. Once again, you are embarrassed when you are late to an appointment, or a meeting, or work. No matter  how early you start, somehow you are almost always late.

‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is something you understand, too. You may have things out instead of put away in your home or office, because you know if you put them away, you’ll forget about them. If you are a student with a paper or project due 2 months away, it disappears into thin air until the deadline is too close to ignore. You mean to work on it every day, but without small goals, and frequent reminders, it slips right out of your mind.

Your attention is everywhere, and it is so hard to pay attention and focus when someone is talking to you. You notice this. The people who want your attention notice it, too. It may be causing problems in a relationship. Maybe you fidget, or doodle, or make notes, or think about something else that passes through your mind. You don’t mean to not pay attention.

You are very sensitive to how angry and critical and disapproving people seem to be when you don’t follow through. It’s not that you wanted to let people down. It just happened. Then, it happened again, and again, and again.

You’re not a bad person. You know what to do. You simply have a brain that has difficulty taking you from knowing what to do, to taking the necessary action to accomplish your intended goal in the way you want to do it. You may feel very bad about yourself. You may feel like a failure when you don’t follow through, or meet expectations, or pay attention, or manage your life in the way you think you should.

It’s okay. You are okay. There are things you can do, steps you can take, to begin to follow through on what you want to do, wish to do, and intend to do. 


What Is Integral Coaching?


Levels of Consciousness

Integral Coaching joins together our levels of consciousness, the various ways we experience our lives, to help us have a more complete awareness of how we feel and what we want. It recognizes and appreciates the variety of ways we know and understand ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Oneness, Values, and Sense of Purpose

We are invited to tap into our sense of oneness and connection with what is greater than ourselves. We are encouraged to reflect on our personal values and our sense of purpose.

Intuition and Imagination

We begin to recognize and use our intuition and imagination. There are imagination exercises we can use to better understand what really matters to us.

We Have Our Own Stories

We realize we each have our own stories, and our own ways of understanding and describing ourselves and our experiences. We can also create our own stories as we explore ideas about how we want our lives to be.

Logical and Rational Thinking

As humans in the current world, we frequently use rational and logical ways of thinking to understand our lives and make decisions.

Integral Consciousness

Integral coaching ties together all of these levels of consciousness. It acknowledges that we know and experience our lives in a variety of ways. The goal is to provide an environment where we can recognize these various parts of ourselves, so that we may find answers that come from who we truly are, reflecting what matters to us.